If you are new, welcome!
Here's what you need to know in order to get the gist of this post...
My name is Molly and I am married to Justin.
We are originally from Alabama, but we have moved around for J's job for over a year now.
To date, we have lived in San Francisco, Dallas, and currently, Manhattan.
We love good music, cold weather and most any combination of chocolate and peanut butter.
That last bit really isn't relevant to this story, per se, but oh well.
You readers who already knew those facts, thanks for coming back, friends!
Whether you are my mom, my mother-in-law, a blog friend, mom of my college bff, avid reader non-commenter, avid reader frequent commenter, or my uncle's mother's next door neighbor's babysitter...
I am so happy you are here. Reading these words. My words.
The words that oft times come freely and generously with reckless abandon.
And the ones that take their precious time ruminating until they are good and ready to be brought forth.
The emotions behind this post rendered a heavy feeling within me. It has taken a while for me to gird myself with the fortitude necessary to write this post, but I am ready now.
Travelling this past year has been amazing. We have learned so much about different parts of our country and have fallen in love with several of them. We now know that one can survive without a washer and dryer within arm's reach and that walking to the grocery store means carrying your groceries home which ultimately means Buy What You Can Carry. It will only take one trip of not adhering to this very simple rule and you will never forget again.
We learned that Tucker's in Alameda has the best ice cream and hot fudge, hands down.
And that Sausalito is dreamy and much like a mini Europe.
We learned that everything really is bigger in Texas, even the ferris wheel.
We learned that Manhattan has the ability to steal your heart and the contents of your bank account within a day of your arrival.
I don't know that it could be any closer to my heart if I had it tattooed directly above it (which I didn't, Mom and Dad).
Travelling has been amazing for our marriage. We have learned so much about who we are as a couple and who we are as individuals. We are able to own our likes and dislikes and passions and preferences with more strength and ardor. We have seen new talents and abilities in one another as a direct result of not being in our comfort zone.
Everything you just read is true. And now I am about to tell you a different part of the story.
Travelling is hard.
I miss my family and friends back home fiercely.
I wonder if I am missing precious moments with my grandmothers.
I think, What if I don't get to celebrate another Christmas or birthday with them?
The thought quickens my heart so badly I think I'll bust.
I wonder about babies.
Would we have made the choice to have them by now had we not been travelling?
I want my parents & J's mom to be grandparents.
I want to see my parents nearly forget about me for being so wrapped up in our baby.
But I don't know that I am ready to give birth in the back of a taxi.
One of my best friends suffered a miscarriage last month.
She's in Alabama and I am in New York.
I couldn't put my arms around her and hug her. I wanted to go sit on her porch with her and tell her we could talk about everything or nothing at all because that's what best friends do.
The mother of another dear friend has had a tumultuous sickness within the past month and faced emergent surgery. My sweet parents went to the hospital on my behalf which I am so greatful for, but I couldn't be there.
One of our dearest couple friends are buying their first home.
Others just welcomed their first baby, a girl, two weeks ago.
Babies are becoming toddlers and taking their first steps while I wonder, Will they know how much I loved on them and rocked them when they were brand new in this world?
So how do I deal with the hard part? I have learned that you do not have to be physically present to be present in someone's life. If I am thinking about a particular family member or friend, I try to call them as soon as possible even if just to say, I miss you and I wanted you to know how important you are to me.
And the one that is present with me? I hug him a little tighter and kiss him a little longer and make sure to thank him for taking me on this wild and grand adventure. I wouldn't have had this opportunity without him. The hard times are made easier because we're in this together. And I love who we have become along this journey.
I have found something beautiful even in the difficult times... thankfulness that I have people in my life that I love so fiercely.
Two sides of the same story.
Admitting that it's not always easy is a burden lifted from my heart.
So now you know.
And yes, we gladly accept gifts in the form of good music and chocolate peanut butter combinations.
Or just come visit us if you'd like.
We'll supply the tunes and the chocolate.