Thursday, February 3, 2011

I have a question. . .

It's kind of a hard question.

I really don't like hard questions, do you?
The ones that make you feel vulnerable & uncertain & maybe even tense.

I much prefer the happy, easy-to-answer ones.
Like what's your favorite movie? Or what do you like to do in your spare time?
Chocolate or vanilla? Red or pink? Roses or tulips?

But sometimes we are faced with hard questions, aren't we?

I've had this question running around in my mind for a couple days now.
I've let it play around and take up space.
I've tried answering it myself in a variety of ways that somehow tend to come up lacking.

So, I thought I'd ask you... I'll whisper it so it doesn't sting so much...

What do you do when you know someone doesn't like you?

Do you shrug it off? Do you say Oh well, no big deal? You win some, you lose some.

Or are you a worrier? A fixer? You want to change it. Find a way to make it work.

Or maybe you turn it on yourself... If I were just more _____ enough, this person would like me. Or if I had just not said _____, then things might be different.

Or maybe you try a combination of all of the above. I think that's what I do. I alternate among not caring to caring too much to trying to fix it to wondering what I could've done differently. Makes you tired, doesn't it?

Appropriately enough, the song in my head right now is Why Can't We Be Friends.
It's kind of a peppy little ditty.

I'd like to think that we all could be friends. No matter what our preferences or hobbies or skin color or political leanings are. Differences keep us interesting. I would love for them to unite us instead of tear us apart. I promise I didn't steal that last line from Hallmark... or a Bette Midler song.

This question was not brought about by any certain events, nor is it a shameless plug for praise.
More like a pondering of the heart. And I'm really just curious. What do you do?

Any blog post is better to me with pictures... kind of like a children's book.
So here's one for good measure.

monkey friends.
really, it's just a mural in a local Mexican restaurant, but I'd like to think they're friends.

one of my favorite movies is Cinderella Man
i enjoy reading & writing in my spare time
i like chocolate and vanilla
red over pink almost always
and when it comes to flowers, hydrangeas are my fav

your turn... feel free to answer the hard & the easy... or none at all...


  1. Easy Question:
    Movie: Wizard of Oz
    Spare Time: Anything outside
    Chocolate/Vanilla: Chocolate
    Red/Pink: Both - depends on mood
    Flowers: Daisy

    Hard Question: You do what YOU can do and what you are called to do . . . thats all . . . the rest is up to the other person.

  2. My approach has always been to decide if that person is an important person in my life or not. If they are important to me then I would like to address the issue directly. Sometimes there is no problem, its a matter of misunderstanding one another. Gently approach the person and try to leave the conversation with some understanding of where you actually stand with that person. This approach takes some courage, thats why I save it for people who are truly important to me.
    With Love Gail

  3. I can't imagaine a person not liking you...ever.

    I know there are people that don't like me. It can definitely make things awkward, but as I'm getting older, I simply don't care as much. I like me and my friends like me. I don't know if my family always likes me, but they are genetically programmed to love me, so they don't count. ;)

    Don't worry, Mrs. are awesome.

    P.S. I think I'm stealing your "not a Hallmark card or Bette Midler" quote as my Facebook status. You're getting credit for it, though.

  4. I tend to try to hard, then go through periods where I act like I don't care, but I really do. It's a hard thing for me, b/c I try really hard to make everyone feel welcome and to be friendly with everyone.

  5. I like you Molly. Just in case you were wondering about me.

    In seriousness, I hate it. I hate not being liked. Once I recognize someone doesn't like me, I generally avoid them like the Plague. I shelter myself with people that do like me, or at least people that pretend to. I hate being reminded that someone doesn't like me. I am also really good at creating reasons in my mind that they don't care for me: they are jealous of my charm and good looks, they have no sense of humor, they are stupid. The worst situation is when someone who doesn't like me is friends with my friends, thus mandating that we see one another in social settings. I have no shame in pretending they don't exist, or casually acknowledging them as though I can't tell they don't like me. But it eats at me.


good communication is as stimulating as black coffee,

and just as hard to sleep after.

anne morrow lindbergh